Age is Just a Number, Baby
by I. heart. Fnick. N. Figgy
Summary: How old are you, like forty?" Haha, Jake. Very funny. That's why I'm at least three years older than you, if we're talking mental age. You're always joking around that way. I don't know what I'd do without you, though. You're good at filling the void...
1. Chapter 1

"How old was that Cullen kid, anyway?" Jacob wanted to know. My head began to spin, and rapidly. Cullen, Cullen, Cullen. What was the name of that Cullen, the one that I was always trying to forget?

Edward.

The gaping wound in my chest doubled in size, and I grabbed at my torso futilely, trying to numb the pain. Edward left me. He didn't want me, not because he thought it wasn't safe for me. He didn't want me because I wasn't good enough for him. And, though I could fix the former, the latter was a gap that I, imperfect human that I was, could not fill. Not ever.

Get it together, Bella. Jake is staring at you with that worried look, I thought sourly. "S-s-s-seventeen," I stuttered, avoiding eye contact.

"See," he continued cautiously, "Only on year's difference between the two of us."

"Yeah," I agreed half-heartedly, because half of a heart was about all I had left. "T-technically. But Edward was a hundred and nine years old, if you want to get specific. B-besides, it isn't about age, anyway."

Instead of asking me what I meant by that, like I half expected him to, Jake just stared into my eyes, silent as death. "What is it about him that makes you like this, Bella?" he asked finally, pain strong on his voice. "Why do you stutter when you talk now, and why do you hold your arm like that, like… like you're holding yourself together? Like you're afraid you're going to fall apart? What kind of power does he have?"

I decided not to argue. Everything he said was the truth. "I c-can't live without him, Jake," I sobbed, my hands reaching for him, any part of him to hold onto. He willingly obliged, wrapping his tanned, muscular arms around my shaking frame.

"You're wrong," he whispered defiantly. "You're wrong, Bella. You just don't know how to live without him yet."

"No!" I shouted, shaking my head against his defined chest. "No, you don't understand!"

Jacob held me at arm's length, tilting my chin up so that our eyes met again. "Then explain it to me, Bella. _Make _me understand."

I was breathing heavily now, my chest heaving up and down with the effort. I was about to shatter, and Jake was going to need a heavy-duty vacuum cleaner to clean up all the Bella pieces in his driveway. How could I make him understand? He was so young, and so naïve. Or so I thought.

"He left because I wasn't good enough," I said inaudibly. Jake tilted his head toward my face.

"What did you say, Bella? I didn't hear you."

"He. Left. Me. Because. I wasn't. good. Enough. For him," I forced through clenched teeth. Huge, fat tears spilled over my cheeks as his dark cheeks turned from light brown to crimson red.

"You're kidding me," he spat.

I stared at my Jacob, incredulous. "You think I'm _joking around_?" I scoffed. "Jacob, have you seen me? And have you seen him? There are… are vampires out there that make me look like fish sticks compared to lobster! I-I-I… he… I…"

Jacob pulled me to him once again when I started to splutter incoherently. I heaved a sigh before jerking backward and wiping the liquid off of my face furiously. "I'm leaving."

"Oh, no you don't," Jacob protested, holding the driver's side door of my truck out of my reach. "You're in no condition to drive."

I unfastened my seatbelt, hopped down from the cab, and turned to face him, venom in my eyes. "Jacob Black, let's get one thing straight," I commanded, my voice quivering more than my body. "I am eighteen years old, legally old enough to drive. That also constitutes that I am a legal adult, therefore capable of making my own _adult _decisions. You, however, are sixteen, making you a minor. Basically, a child. Adult," I said, pointing to myself, and then to him, "Child. Now, if you'll please unhand my door."

He let go then, gaping speechlessly. I sighed. "I love you, Jake," I admitted quietly. "I'll be back tomorrow."

He nodded, waving goodbye.

* * *

"Jake," Bella breathed, whispering my name in that weird way of hers. "You have to do something for me."

"Have to?" I teased, knowing full well that I would not be denying any reasonable request that she had for me. "Is this you pulling your adult authority card?" Suddenly, the conversation became tense. She paused, breathing heavily into the receiver. "Kidding, Bells," I assured her quickly.

"Oh," she said. "Well, what do you want, Jake?"

I groaned inwardly, recognizing the signs of her new crazy, Cullen-based psychological disorder. "Bella, you called me, remember?"

"Uhh, yeah," she corrected herself, acting as if nothing had happened. But it had, I thought sickly. It had, and it was getting worse and worse. If only she'd let me help her. I could hold her together just as well, if not better, than Cullen could. "Mike, he wants to go to the movies Friday night."

"So… you called me because some kid wants to take you on a date? Are you asking for my permission, Bella? Because you're the adult in this situation," I attempted to lighten the mood. It worked, sort of. She giggled.

"No, actually, the whole gang's going… but I want you to be there… to," she said. I grinned triumphantly. So that was it, then? She wanted me. About time, too.

"Sure, Bells. You know I'd do anything for you."

She exhaled loudly. "Thanks, Jake. I owe you one. Well, I guess I'll see you Friday night. I'll pick you up at around… eight."

"How about I pick you up?" I laughed.

"Sure," she agreed, monotonous. "Eight."

"Eight."

"See you then, Jake," she said, hanging up the phone before I could add an afterthought.

"I love you, Bella," I admitted to the dial tone on the other line.

* * *

"I think I'm going to throw up!" Mike Newton exclaimed, rushing out of the theatre, hand on mouth. Jake laughed loudly.

"Shh," I demanded, stifling a giggle of my own. "Shh, Jake, it isn't funny! Be nice!" But I couldn't help it. The two of us broke out into a round of hysterics, earning a disapproving look from all of the audience members around us.

"I think we'd better go check on Mike," Jake suggested, leading the way into the crowded lobby.

I nodded, letting him take me to the mirrored staircase located next to the men's restroom. He smiled at me nervously, grabbing my hand. I pulled away nonchalantly.

"What?" he asked, "I can't hold your hand?"

He just didn't get it, did he? "Of course you can," I nodded. "I just think it means something a little different to you."

Jake turned his face away, coming to sit down beside me. I sighed contentedly. He was so warm, and this was the Jacob I knew. He was my Jacob, and for some reason I wanted him to stay that way forever. Maybe if he never talked again…

"Bella," he whispered passionately. It was officially ruined. Why must everything in my life be so complicated? "I know what he did to you. But I'll never do that. I'll never let you down, Bella."

It was at that moment that I realized that, more than anything, I wanted to believe him. Ed-Ed… the Cullens had left a void when they left, and all I wanted was for Jake to be the one to fill it. I knew that he loved me so much, and he could have made me feel better, if only I'd let him in.

"I can't risk it again, Jake," I told him sadly, tears swimming in my eyes.

"Risk what, Bella?" he question, stroking my hair gently. "There's no risk with me. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep my word. I'll never hurt you."

Mike cleared his throat loudly, letting the two of us know that he was back. "I need to go home," he declared, his face a putrid green color. Jake growled at him. "Dude, what's your problem?"

"Right now, you're my problem!" Jake exclaimed, jumping up to face him. "Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital! Want me to put you in the hospital?"

"Whoa," I cautioned, holding Jacob back with a hand to the chest. As if I could actually stop Jake if he wanted to do something bad enough. "Jake, you're hot. You feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?"

"I don't know what's happening," he admitted quietly, and for a split second, he was Jacob Black, a scared, sixteen-year old guy. "I need to go."

"I'm taking you home, Jake," I protested, reaching out to grab his bicep as he turned away.

"I brought the Rabbit," he told me.

"Well then…" I paused. "You take me home. I don't feel like driving by myself tonight," I lied easily.

Jake shrugged. "Fine, I'll come by and get your truck tomorrow." Score!

"Thanks, Jake. You're the best," I buttered him up some more. Maybe I could get him to talk to me on the ride home. He smiled the crooked Jacob-smile that I love and wrapped me in a bear hug. I laughed a real laugh for the first time that night. Mike cleared his throat yet again.

"I guess we'd better be on our way," I suggested ruefully.

"What about me?" Mike whined, looking at me as if I had the answer he was looking for. "I can't drive myself home. I'm sick as a dog."

It took all of my self-restraint not to go off on him right then and there. Didn't he know that I didn't care about his weak, girly stomach right now? I had bigger problems, like the fact that Jake was shaking like he couldn't control himself. I had to find out was wrong with him, because, honestly, when it came down to it, Mike meant nothing to me compared to Jacob.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," I said, all but shoving him out into the lobby. "All you need is some good old fashioned bed rest, Mike. Now get going."

I felt bad about being so rude to him, really, I did. But I was starting to panic. Jake was breathing heavily, and actually leaning on _me _for support.

"But, Beellllaaaa," he pleaded shamelessly.

"Go, Mike," I commanded, finally losing my patience. "I think Jake needs to go to the hospital."

Mike huffed just like Jessica would before stomping out into the cold. Somehow, despite the gnawing guilt in the pit of my stomach, I couldn't bring myself to care. I had bigger fish to fry. For instance, Jacob was now passed out at my feet.

**A/N: Okay, so I know it's a little rough, but basically it follows the New Moon plot in the beginning, but obviously there's a little twist that's eventually going to lead away from it. I'm a huge supporter of Team Jacob, but even if you aren't I want reviews! Good reviews, bad reviews, it's all the same to me. In return, I promise a better, clearer, more interesting chapter next time,(: **

**REVIEW!**

**C.J.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Jake," I breathed the name, clasping both of my small, pale hands around his huge, tan one. "You're awake! I can't tell you how worried I was… Jake, I thought you'd never come back to me! What do you think could have caused it? The doctors are so confused, Jacob! They couldn't come up with any explanation, and I was starting to think that-that-"

"Bella," he whispered, laughing slightly. "Calm down, Honey. I'm fine now. That's all that matters."

Tears spilled out over my cheeks, and even as they did, I willed myself to stop crying. We were out of the woods now. The twenty-four hour coma that my Jacob had fallen into was over, right? Well if that was true, then why did I feel so helpless? I sighed, my breath shaking, and rested my head gently against his solid chest.

"I'm sorry, Jacob."

"Don't, Bella," he ordered, stroking my cheek. I leaned my cheek into his palm. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad I woke up to your beautiful, smiling face, and not Mike the Giant Marshmallow complaining about his weak-ass stomach."

I giggled softly, nodding my agreement. The movies, Mike, Jake… It all seemed like a distant memory now. My mind was filled to the brim with the painful memories of Jake shaking, turning his body violently in the comparatively small, pale hospital bed. He'd been screaming something… Something that brought a fresh round of tears to my eyes as I considered it.

"Edward!" he'd shouted fiercely, "Get away from her, Cullen!"

I began choking softly, sobbing with my face buried in my hands. It was my fault. I'd done this to Jake. I'd made his time at the hospital a living hell, simply because I kept bringing up the Cullens, kept ripping open old, healing wounds for the both of us.

"Bells," Jake beckoned, stroking my matted, tear-soaked hair. "Look at me, Bella."

I shook my head vehemently, but instead I stood up from my seat on the bed beside him. I crossed to the other side, lying down on his left side, snuggling into his bare shoulder. Happily, he obliged this action, closing his arm around my frame, crushing me to his body.

"Jacob," I cried, the sobs becoming stronger, wracking my entire body.

"Shh, don't cry, Bella," he soothed. "Please don't cry."

At last, I began to gather myself, hiccupping a few times before my hysteria ceased. "'Edward!' You kept screaming 'Edward!'" I informed him. "What's going on with you, Jake? You're not yourself these days."

"I know that, Bella… And I'm sorry if I scared you. Now that you mention it, I do remember dreaming about Cullen in the midst of all of this… He was coming after you, sucking you back into his lair with that sparkling personality of his… But I can honestly say that I have no idea what happened to me the other night. Maybe we should go back to La Push. Billy will know something…" he resolved, standing up and chastely ripping the IV out of his wrist.

I gasped, partly from the horrifying display and partly from the shocking cold that engulfed me the second Jacob's body was gone from mine. "Jake… Y-you… the doctor… that's…"

"Don't you dare try to talk me out of this, Bells," he said, shrugging on his white, v-neck t-shirt. "I know my own body. I'm fine."

I closed my eyes tightly, pressing my fingers harshly to my temples. Wasting no time, Jake lifted me off of the bed and into his arms easily, picking up my bag on the way out. Only one thought crossed my mind as he dashed out of the hospital, too fast to be seen, and that thought was: "It's going to be a long week."

* * *

Okay, so _maybe_ it was wrong to feel happy about Bella's sullen reaction. But can you really blame me for being excited about her worrying? She loves me. I can tell from her reaction.

"Jake," she whined slightly, her hand on my bicep. "Why couldn't you at least have let me drive you home?"

"I told you, Bells, I'm perfectly fine," I quipped, trying my hardest to ignore the fire that was spreading over the surface of my arm at her touch. "Besides, you're stressed out, and I don't want you putting yourself in danger. I'm a perfectly capable driver, Bella, whether you trust me or not."

I smirked out the window, knowing that I had her there.

"You know I trust you, Jacob," she finally resigned.

"Just how much do you trust me, Isabella Swan?" I asked, a plan formulating in my mind.

"With all my heart," she answered firmly, just as I knew she would. I didn't reply, but moved my right hand off of the steering wheel and around her shoulders, pulling her body close to me. I moved my left hand to the bottom of the wheel, now steering with only three fingers. Bella didn't as much as flinch.

"I told you that I trust you, Jake." She leaned her head against my shoulder, snuggling close to my side as she shivered violently. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm gently, soothing her. "I just want you to be okay."

"I could say the same thing to you," I whispered, turning into the reservation. "I've never worried about anyone like I do for you, Bella."

And it was the truth.

* * *

"Any ideas?" Jake asked, looking down reverently into the eyes of his wheelchair-confined father.

Billy shook his head, a dismal look filming his dark, brown eyes. "Nothing comes to mind, Jake. Sorry."

Against my better judgment, a melancholy sigh escaped my lips at the news. Recognizing this action, Jake took me into his arms once again. Surprisingly, however, I didn't feel like crying. I was much too exhausted for that, and, besides, I felt as if my tear ducts had been drained. Instead, I pressed my face to Jacob's chest for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, memorizing the nice, rustic smell that he had.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Billy repeated, awkward at having witnessed this private display between the two of us. "I promise we'll keep searching for possible issues… but for now, I think you should be getting home to Charlie."

I suppose I was not supposed to see the questioning look that Jake sent Billy's way, but I did, and somehow I knew what it meant. He knew exactly what was wrong with Jake. It just wasn't something he could tell his son while I was in their presence. I felt relief. Perhaps there was hope after all.

"He's right, Jacob," I obliged, noticing that he was about to argue. "He'll worry if I'm gone too long. I think making him cook his own dinner one night is bad enough."

"Fine," he nodded, after taking a moment to mull it over. "But I'm taking you home."

"That sounds reasonable," Billy piped up. "We'll have dinner at Harry's tonight. See you there, Son."

**A/N: Okay, so it wasn't as good as the first chapter, and for that I am truly sorry. But I realized today that this story was my baby, and by quitting on it I had done the very thing that I hate to see. Therefore, I will continue updating it for as long as the reviews keep coming. : ) I actually love this story, and I have the next few chapters mapped out already, so REVIEW. **

**Thanks,**

**C.J.**


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